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E.Umana here, I don’t want to start the year off on such a dreary topic; but this is something worth addressing and if you like please use the sharing is caring social media buttons at the end of this post to share it .

I was listening to Pastor John McArthur and he was talking about a woman who said that God gave her an opportunity to divorce her husband and she didn’t take it and now she is stuck with the guy since she didn’t take that opportunity to divorce him, she, in her mind,she missed God’s best for her life.

People have become so indifferent about marriage and divorce.

There is not any perfect marriage, it takes hard work,commitment and seeking God’s purpose for your marriage and life. Matthew 19v 1-2

 

Last year there were over a million divorces in the United States alone and possibly millions more around the world as a whole.

Divorce has creeped into societies so completely there is hardly anyone who has not been touched by it directly or indirectly, whether, it be parents,children,neighbors,coworkers. that’s a lot of divorces and the million plus divorces represents a lot of broken hearts, crushed dreams, emotionally devastated spouses and children.

 

There are of course legitimate grounds for divorce, such as infidelity,true abandonment or violence;but today it is almost seen as a status symbol e.g. lavish divorce parties of “getting my freedom”

Even the japanese are getting in on this trend with solemn divorce ceremonies.

No fault divorce laws,introduced in the 1970′s, only made things worse,this is ridiculous, it gets people off the hook, maybe both contributed to the divorce to some degree;BUT someone is at fault. Some people will say “Don’t you want people to be happy?

 

Your marriage commitment should not be be based only on how “happy” this person makes you. You made vows and other than the exceptions mentioned above,

 

God expects you to keep it.

 

Your children don’t always make you happy,Things don’t always go as expected with them, some parents have to deal with children in and out of legal trouble,attitude problems,violence,drugs,sex etc and you think, “this is not what I expected when we had you”

 

So what do you do? Do they cease to be your children? Of course not? Then why get rid of your spouse because you’re going through a rough patch?

Is it because there is no biological connection and that supposedly gets rid of the “problem”? This is completely unbiblical;but a lot of people,even  in the church, don’t seem to care.

 

Some of the divorce settlements are scandalous to say the least, for example.

 

Once upon a time, there was a man who made millions of dollars working in the media, He was married,several years into the marriage, he traveled alone away from home and family from time to

 

time, got a girlfriend, (which is totally wrong no doubt) They get divorced,she gets spousal support of roughly one third of his income totally “free money” until she either remarries or he dies,she also gets the big house as well.

 

Bottom Line: She is not EVER going to remarry and will end up having nothing but “boy toys” (on his dime)

 

Of course while not as common,the same situation happens to women as well.

 

There was a woman,who I really admired, she was married, had children and in an age of false role models, I wanted to be able to hold this woman up as a model of a true christian woman.

 

Anyway, she worked with a new man,they have an affair, she gets a divorce, describes the marriage as (paraphrasing: suffocating) gets married to this other man (who also left his wife) they have a child. (This is a woman who touted christian values and was admired by a lot of people)

 

None of us are perfect;but there can be no rationalizations to the path that she has chosen. The now ex husband, acknowledged that they had problems and indicated that he wanted to work it out;but she didn’t want to at all.

 

With God, there are no evolving standards, There is no “getting with the times” There is that psycho bable phrase, “I love you;but I’m not in love with you anymore.”  In other words, you no longer make me happy. Love is not all about feelings.

 

People love the idea the idea of getting married, getting the chapel ready,the flowers the ring, the tuxedo, the dress etc a real fairy tale; but fail to think about the commitment when times get tough as they inevitably will.

 

Remember Hebrews chapter 13 verse 4 where God speaks about the sanctity of marriage and that he will judge fornicators and adulterers. That verse specifically mentions keeping the marriage bed undefiled.

 

In the old testament, God talks about sexual immorality as polluting the land.

 

At the end of the day, Marriage is a sacred God created institution and should be fought for, not ridiculed, even as divorce has become fashionable and commonplace.

There are no real winners in divorce.

 

Let me know what you think.

Happy New Year,Happy 2012

E.Umana here, at long last after a long hiatus wanting to wish you the best new year ever.

A time of joy or a time of sadness for those who had a bad year or lost loved ones this past year, I’ve been busy with other projects, I hope I wasn’t missed too much, well I’m back here to wish you and yours the very best new years, Its a good thing to set goals nothing too unrealistic or out of God’s will of course.

If you have questions in regard to family and marital issues from a christian standpoint, feel free to ask.

Until next time
-E.Umana

E.Umana here, I hope the weekend has been good for you. I don’t know how much of this debt ceiling news coverage I can take. Here is part two of my blog post on guarding your heart.
Let me know what you think.
 

Garbage In,Garbage Out.

What you or your spouse takes in (internet,TV,Newspaper,Radio etc) can affect you or your spouse very intensely. These mediums can serve a very good purpose,we all need to be well informed;but we also need to be very discerning as well. A friend once said that Facebook has ruined so many marriages.

It (facebook) can also be very destructive as well when some people can’t seem to separate the virtual world with the real world.

Again Facebook,like anything else can be used for good or evil,depending on how one chooses to use it.

Pornography has no place in a christian marriage, it will not spice things up,it makes the spouse (ususally the wife) feel inadequate, unable to match the women in physical attraction or sexually in the images or videos.

Romance novels (not all of them are bad of course) which glamorizes women who are bored,going through a difficult period in their marriage and dissatisfied in their marriage, falls in love with that buff,handsome and chivalrous Cable guy or Rich English Duke with the “killer” smile who looks deeply in your eyes and makes your knees go weak with excitement.

First Corinthians chapter 10 verse 23 says: All things are lawful;but not all things are profitable.

Translation: While something may permissible like hanging out with your ex from high school,even though you are married,it is not helpful to your marriage and it can rightly be argued that it doesn’t in any meaningful way, build up or strengthen your current marriage.

Till Next Time
E.Umana

Stop Fumbling In The Dark When It Comes To Your Marriage. E.Umana is a Louisville,KY based author on internet marketing and christian topics Learn More Click These Links. http://www.affairsinthechurch.com

http://www.12marriagekillers.com

E.Umana here with something you might want to consider. Let me know what you think.

I’ve had to remind so many men in my personal life that they’re off the market (as in married) when they strain their neck to look at an attractive woman’s posterior as she walks by.

These men usually respond by saying “There is nothing wrong with looking.

Do you disrespect your wife by staring at other women when the two of you are out and about.

I was listening to a radio show on this very topic and the male guest stated that he made sure to not turn around and look at the very attractive woman as she was riding the escalator up

while he and his wife riding it going down as he didn’t want to disrespect his wife as he knew that (and she confirmed it) she was looking at him to see what his reaction to the mystery woman would be.

 

Women are far more likely to have wandering hearts. Does she never seem to be “in the mood” any more no matter how romantic,attentive and thoughtful you’ve been? Does she instead stay up until the wee hours of the morning (every night) chatting on Facebook with her high school sweetheart from 20 years ago who she “just found” on facebook?

Whether the husband or wife is caught up in this type of behavior eventually boundaries will be crossed, Don’t start what you can’t finish.

Romans chapter 12 verse two says: Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Wandering Romance and lust is very powerful, the false thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. This applies to wives and husbands alike.

Men especially are admonished to not stray.

So your wife is now older and she no longer has that stunning figure you once loved to show off to your friends. The fact is, as those years went by you grew older too; but since that young waitress smile, winked and laughed with you and tapped you on the shoulder, you want to throw that all away for a phantom chance. She (that waitress) may make you feel young; but you’re not.

There is no excuse to claim to be having a mid life crises.

Malachi chapter 2 verse 15  says Don’t deal treacherously with the wife of your youth. Proverbs chapter 5 verse 19 says: Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.

 

Love is not just a feeling you feel, its a choice as well. We all need discernment skills from time to time even though, at the end of the day, we know right from wrong.

 

Husbands and Wives should learn not to have unrealistic expectations.
After the affair is over, then what? Start another one? Divorce your spouse and marry another one? We all know the success rate of that scenario (sarcasm) Part Two Coming Soon.

Stop Fumbling In The Dark When It Comes To Your Marriage. E.Umana is a Louisville,KY based author on internet marketing and christian topics Learn More Click These Links.  http://www.affairsinthechurch.com

Marriage: And The Most Dangerous Human Body Part Is?

http://www.12marriagekillers.com

 

E.Umana here with part two of this long post, I hope that it caused you to really reflect on things,between you and God,your spouse,children and life in general. Please let me know what you think, one way or the other.

 

We have the light of conscience (we know right from wrong) and the light of creation. There is a reason why the seasons come and go, why the gestational period for a human being is 9 months and for an elephant 22 months. There is a sense of order in everything around us.

What a person believe does matter. Many wars have been started in the name of religion and what they think God would want them to do has resulted in numerous and unnecessary deaths.

Christians believe in the inerrancy of scripture (2 Timothy 3v16) that Jesus is the only way to God The Father (John 14v6 or Act 4v12) If you want true evidence to strenghthen your faith, Try reading   The Case for Faith: A Journalist Investigates the Toughest Objections to Christianity  this book (released in 2000) by former atheist and Lawyer Lee Strobel (Author of  The Case for Christ ) using his considerable legal skills to examine the evidence one way or another as to the claims of Christ and the bible and answers alot of the objections that skeptics have about christianity.

Marriage tip number two: What you believe affects every aspect of your life, your eternity, your marriage, What values you pass on to your children (if you have any) how you treat your fellow human beings etc.

It is also important to note that there is substantial divisions even within a religion, for example Wars between the Catholics and Protestants within christiandom or between the shiites and Sunnis in Islam or the Orthodox and Reformed in Judaism among others.

There are alot of false prophets and preachers out there who use scripture to enrich themselves with what some call the prosperity preachers who live lavish lifestyles by taking scriptures of Giving and receiving out of context to lure those are not well grounded in their faith to send them vast sums of money.

Many of these same false prophets have been exposed for their deception and ungodly lives. While we are all told to be imitators of Christ (Ephesian 5v1-2). Church leaders are held to a higher standard, God has given them their position and authority to lead his flock to a closer relationship with him and their punishment will be worse. When they act hypocritically,they cause people to blashpheme God.

They can even make people lose their faith in God. Discernment skills do matter. Marriage tip number 3: Make a regular time with your spouse (and family) to read,pray and study the bible (Romans 12v2) Do not be conformed to this world;but Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Make sure that you are attending a bible believing church, one who doesn’t preach acceptance of things or practices that go against scripture. Some may say that what you believe in your heart is more important than attending church.

The bible says that we are not to forsake the assembling of ourselves (Hebrews 10v25) in other words going to church regularly builds up your faith by being around other like minded believers who will stand in stark contrast to that raving atheists who will ridicule your faith as something for the weak minded to use a crutch who can’t handle what life dishes out or that belief in God is a fairy tale among other things.

Look within your self to re evaluate your relationship with God. I feel good to have recommended The Bible answer man with Hank Hanegraaff (a program that I have listened to on an off for over 10 years) to a friend which he enjoys and learns from. You can google it for the podcast, its also available on itunes.

This is a call in radio program mainly about discernment and you will sometimes hear some of the christian heretics (in their own words) say stuff like “I have equality with God” that is so breathtaking and total heresy.

Next Time: Do you know where your money is going? Do you have a budget in place. Is God relevant to your day to day finances?  Is it causing tension in your marriage? Threatening to tear it apart?

 

Stop Your Marriage From Getting Stale. E.Umana is a Louisville,KY based author on internet marketing and christian topics. You can learn more about in the links below: http://www.affairsinthechurch.com

Marriage: And The Most Dangerous Human Body Part Is?

http://www.12marriagekillers.com

E.Umana here, I hope that you are having a good weekend so far,despite all the bad economic numbers that came out last week. Let me know what you think of this post, I’ve broken it up as I didn’t want it to be too long for you to read.

Number one marriage tip,Know what you believe and why you believe it. Do not be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6 v14), Marry someone who shares your faith as it can cause all sorts of problems if you do not, If you are married to someone who doesn’t share your faith, should you divorce your spouse and break your marriage vows? No way!

Blog post continued below video (You might want to check out the video as well)

 

 
Many people will say that all paths lead to the same destination, in other words, all religions lead to God,others will say I can’t believe that with all the religions and various belief systems out there, that Jesus is the only way to heaven and that those who believe otherwise are considered intolerant and narrow minded.

One can co exist peacefully (as much as is possible, according to scripture verse Romans 12v 18) with others who have different beliefs, while not buying into or accepting those different beliefs.

If every belief system is valid. It would not make any difference if a person went to a church on Sunday, a mosque on Friday,a Sikh Temple on Wednesday or Synagogue on Saturday and on and on.

That is totally absurd as many of the basic tenets of many of the different religions are diametrically opposed to one another.Yet we have those who have interfaith services, read from the “holy” book of a completely different faith in church and say that we worship the same God.

 

No we do not. Some may see that as intolerant or even bigoted. We are not judging their eternity,we are making judgments and choices based on what we believe.

Once we die,God will be more real than anything we have ever experienced in this life. There are those who have no belief system at all.
We are not to force our views on others, we can only spread the word (as we are commanded) in a loving but uncompromising manner and not be ashamed when asked about your views.

According to Psalm 14v1 The fool has said in his heart that there is no God. Even the most strident unbeliever knows that there is a God.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 (New International Version)

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set ETERNITY in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

 

The Bible starts with “In the Beginning GOD created the heavens and the earth” not There was this big bang that happened millions of years ago or human life started as tadpoles from some primordial ooze.

No, The bible presupposes the existence of God and his word. As I often say, We are not all here as the sole result of our parents “getting it on” (with all due respect) in the backseat of of that 57 Chevy, nor did God ask for our permission when he created us.

We all have a purpose and reason for being alive and we will not be alive 1 second past God deciding to take our lives.

Make each day a day lived for him and enjoy and appreciate what he has done for you and put your trust in him even when everything seems to be crashing around you.

 

Remember the woman who had an issue of blood for 12 long years? she believed in Jesus. For she thought to herself, “If I can just touch his clothing, I will be healed.” Immediately the bleeding stopped, and she could feel that she had been healed! (Mark 5v25)

Stay tuned for part two (coming soon)

Stop Your Marriage From Getting Stale.
E.Umana is a Louisville,KY based author on internet marketing and christian topics. You can learn more  in the links below: http://www.affairsinthechurch.com

http://www.askme7.com

http://www.12marriagekillers.com

E.Umana here, I hope you had a great weekend. for those outside the U.S. This post will be mainly geared toward my U.S. blog visitors, though the sentiments may still apply in your country as well.

while most of us will be going to parades or patriotic concerts,eating hot dogs,grilling those succulent baby back ribs,spending time with family and generally having a good time (having a paid holiday doesn’t hurt either), take some time to reflect on the sacrifices made to secure our freedoms, without our military, we would not have our freedoms, freedoms enabled by God who equipped them to do so.

Our troops are in some cases spending this holiday for months, sometimes a year away from their loved ones in foreign lands around the world. So if you come across a soldier, whether in a parade on the street or at the local walmart (like I do), Thank them for their service.

I know that we have an election coming up next year and I pray for the very moral soul of the country. we have in the past spread God’s word around the world, now we may be in need of missionaries ourselves as we no longer, as a nation seek God like we once did with fervor and passion. Some have even said that we are a declining power.

I will not be voting based on how good or bad the economy may be as important as that is, I will be voting ,based on who I believe will show some real strong moral principles while in office, not politically correct ones .(2 chronicles 7 14) Our nation turns 235 years old today, Go out there,Thank God and make it a great day.

Until next time
E.Umana

E.Umana, here, hope you are having a great weekend, Don’t forget Father’s Day. If you have a father alive, reach out to him,even if you have strained relations. I first came across this story back in 2009 and it still moves me even today as Father’s Day approaches.

God bless our military as they go through being away from their families,sometimes for very long periods as they serve our country.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is a story from the Philadelphia,PA area. Its about (Now 6 year old) Paige Bennethum and her  now 32 year old Father. Her father was preparing to ship out to Iraq and would be gone for at least a year, leaving Paige behind with her mother Abby (who took the photo here) what was so moving to me was the fact that as his unit stood in formation to get instructions before leaving, little Paige (4 years old at the time) would not let go of her father.

 

I saw that and I was touched. I’m certainly not a pacifist by any means;but this does remind us that these are real people and real families who have to deal with long separations and it especially moves me that Paige felt very strongly about not letting her go as too many Father/Daughter relationships are not nearly as strong as  in too many cases the Mother/Daughter bond.

Just because they’re of different genders does not mean that  that bond should not be as strong as the Mother/Daughter Bond even if he doesn’t show as much interest in the latest Caroline Herrera or Donna Karan fashion line or if she’s not in the least bit interested in hunting or fishing.

 

If you ask any major phone company, the number of calls that they get on Mother’s Day and the number they get on Father’s Day, You will repeatedly here that the volume of calls on Mother’s day vastly outnumbers that of Father’s Day.

With the continuing decline of the traditional family, There is an epidemic of divorce,absentee fathers, weekend fathers,once every few months fathers.
While I personally do not agree with much of what this current administration is doing at all, I will say that I do agree with one thing the President did say about Father’s day and that is, “What makes you a man is not the ability to have a child — any fool can have a child,” “That doesn’t make you a father. It’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.”

Fathers need to be involved in their children’s lives, There is a reason, God gave each child a father and a mother.

While the relationship between their parents tragically ends far too often, That’ doesn’t mean that Fathers should walk away from the responsibility of guiding that child, the bible states in proverbs, (Proverbs 22 v 6) Train up a child in the way he (she) should go and when he(she) is grown, he(she) will not depart from it.

By The Way Paige’s Father Staff Sgt. Brett M. Bennethum, 32 returned from Iraq in July of last year,

See Paige’s Video HERE made in May 2010 (Back in 2009 when this story came out, it  moved millions of people, it was a real overnight sensation especially online as many people can relate to it.)

Till Next Time
E.Umana

E.Umana here, I hope you had a good weekend. Let me know what you think about this post.

It starting to feel like everywhere you turn, there’s another politician caught up in a cheating scandal. The airwaves were filled with it this past week. Politicians from both political parties have been exposed. Its so pervasive that Greta Van Susteren of Fox news did a news special chronicling their foibles.

One person even said to me that everybody does it, to which I protested my disagreement.

Cohabiting before marriage,children born out of wedlock, where the parents have absolutely no intention of ever marrying,pervades the moral landscape and is considered no big deal.

 

As believers, we know that it is a big deal. We are not to throw stones at glass houses, we all have our flaws;but there are those who flaunt their immorality.

Nobody will ever be perfect in this life;however, True believers strive to do better and then there are those who cry stop judging me or the buzzword of the day is “judgmental” or “so-called christian”

 

FOR EXAMPLE  “I consider your wife Sarah to be my friend.

I know what you two have gone through. How could you ever do that to her? Your affair could endanger your life and hers, Sarah really doesn’t deserve this, Have you been tested for HIV, gonorrhea, HPV, Herpes,Syphilis or any of the other venereal diseases out there?

What about the kids? Are you being the best example of what a father should be to them?

 

When Sarah finds out and mark my word, she will find out,even if not by me, you will be getting a divorce as Sarah won’t be able to trust a single word that comes out of your mouth.

 

You claim to know God and you do this? when the world sees christians willfully sinning against God over and over again, it causes the world to see christians as hypocrites and blaspheme God. Think about it.

The cheater responds predictably: Stop judging me. We’ve known each other since grade school and if you want to still be my friend, You’ll keep your mouth shut, I love Sarah, but I need time to break off the affair.

The friend responds: I’m not judging you, but what you’re doing is wrong, if we, as believers can’t make judgements between right and wrong,lest we offend. someone who wants to keep doing wrong, then we’re in big trouble. Stop making excuses.

Come clean to Sarah and beg for her forgiveness, Knowing Sarah as I do, I doubt she’ll take you back as affairs can be overcome by some couples if the wronged spouse can truly forgive and the cheater get counseling;but the trust is extremely hard to get back as you know how much Sarah talks about how important  trust is.

You have to take the chance that your marriage may be over, if you don’t do it, I will,I mean it and I sure as heck will not lie to protect either,No games just do it now.

Cheater: Ok, I’ll do it.

Cheating permeates every level of society, but those who violate the public’s trust in their integrity and gave them the honor of being in public office really disgusts and disappoints me.

 

Representatives of the people are human;but they are to be held to a higher standard. holding public office is not a right its a privilege. Not everyone gets that honor.

The lengths, some of them go to cover up the affair. Ducking in hotels,making payoffs, contacting the women they carried on with to keep quiet,secret children etc.

Despite the fact, that sex and infidelity are being thrown around everywhere, Everyone is not being unfaithful, despite all the temptation around them including the ease with which we are able to go online and find friends from grade school from over 25 years ago and reconnect.

It is not impossible to be faithful to our spouses. The verse, I can do all things through christ who strengthens me (Phillipians 4v13) comes to mind.

 

God would not set parameters or limits on anything, if it was not ultimately for our own good.

I shudder to think of how the younger generations will fare. The Wall Street Journal layed it out in a story  entitled.

The Young and the Restless: Why Infidelity Is Rising Among 20-Somethings.

Some people in other countries when they hear of the cheating scandals and the controversy and condemnation of the cheating politician,actually called on Americans to not be so puritanical (which is hardly the case) infidelity is wrong and shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Click The Banner On The Very Top Of  This Page To Get Your Copy Of My Riveting Ebook Affairs In The Church.

Till next time
E.Umana

E.Umana here, let me know what you think of this. Do you agree with my post?

If asked what the most dangerous human body part is, most would probably say the arms or the legs; but many theologians would say that its the tongue, as mentioned by R.C Sproul.

With the tongue we both praise God and curse each other. He also went on to tell the story of a girl who had crooked teeth, very poor eyesight so intense that she had to wear those unsightly coke bottle type glasses, the ones with the very thick lenses and to top it off,she had persistent acne,she used to get made fun of mercilessly.

As she entered adolesence around 13 to 14 years of age, her body started to develop physically and the boys started to notice her and as she was within earshot of some boys talking, she heard one of them say in effect that she has a great body; but he’d have to put a bag over her head in order to have sex with her.

This girl’s self esteem was crushed.

Proverbs 18 v 21 The power of life and death is in the tongue.

Braces straightened her teeth, clearasil cleared up her pimples and contacts got rid of the need for glasses. This “ugly duckling” grew up to be a beautiful swan (A very beautiful woman) and yet 25 years later, she had to go to R.C. to say that she couldn’t respond to her husband as she didn’t feel that she was beautiful. R.C. was so stunned that when she told him this,at first he thought that she was kidding;but realized that she was not.

The tongue can be used to for good or for evil, with it a person can be inspired to great heights of accomplishments or it can tear a person apart to the deepest depths of despair and even suicide.

There is a thing such as constructive criticism like the widely, almost reviled Simon Cowell formerly of American Idol.

As a former judge on The TV show American Idol, his caustic criticism caused animosity,even tears and insults from prospective musical artists, even though some of this criticism was entirely accurate.

On the other hand, fake praise can damage a person’s psyche. You’ve probably heard about parents watching their children play sports or engage in some other activity, saying for example Great job Timmy,just for trying. My question is what has Timmy accomplished? I don’t believe in praising mediocrity. Words of encouragement is one thing, excessive praise is another thing.

Last month, I saw the story of a 7 year old, whose ears stuck out and was frequently teased to the point of her parents paying for her to have surgery to make her ears less noticeable.

They showed the before and after pictures.The difference was striking.

From Foxnews.com

“This was a preventative way, so she wouldn’t get bullied,” Cami Roselles told the morning show. “Kids are mean. That’s just how they are.”

Her daughter had a procedure called an otoplasty, also known as ear pinning surgery,

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/04/15/girl-7-plastic-surgery-avoid-bullied/#ixzz1LLYWcAa8

The taunts if not countered with family and school involvement could affect her for life. I don’t know if surgery, other than for something that is life threatening is best for someone so young as her body is still growing and developing.

That throws out the adage “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Words do hurt and can strike into the psyche of a person long after the physical wounds have healed.

Let me know what you think of this

Till Next Time.

E.Umana