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Archive for January, 2012

E.Umana here, I don’t want to start the year off on such a dreary topic; but this is something worth addressing and if you like please use the sharing is caring social media buttons at the end of this post to share it .

I was listening to Pastor John McArthur and he was talking about a woman who said that God gave her an opportunity to divorce her husband and she didn’t take it and now she is stuck with the guy since she didn’t take that opportunity to divorce him, she, in her mind,she missed God’s best for her life.

People have become so indifferent about marriage and divorce.

There is not any perfect marriage, it takes hard work,commitment and seeking God’s purpose for your marriage and life. Matthew 19v 1-2

 

Last year there were over a million divorces in the United States alone and possibly millions more around the world as a whole.

Divorce has creeped into societies so completely there is hardly anyone who has not been touched by it directly or indirectly, whether, it be parents,children,neighbors,coworkers. that’s a lot of divorces and the million plus divorces represents a lot of broken hearts, crushed dreams, emotionally devastated spouses and children.

 

There are of course legitimate grounds for divorce, such as infidelity,true abandonment or violence;but today it is almost seen as a status symbol e.g. lavish divorce parties of “getting my freedom”

Even the japanese are getting in on this trend with solemn divorce ceremonies.

No fault divorce laws,introduced in the 1970′s, only made things worse,this is ridiculous, it gets people off the hook, maybe both contributed to the divorce to some degree;BUT someone is at fault. Some people will say “Don’t you want people to be happy?

 

Your marriage commitment should not be be based only on how “happy” this person makes you. You made vows and other than the exceptions mentioned above,

 

God expects you to keep it.

 

Your children don’t always make you happy,Things don’t always go as expected with them, some parents have to deal with children in and out of legal trouble,attitude problems,violence,drugs,sex etc and you think, “this is not what I expected when we had you”

 

So what do you do? Do they cease to be your children? Of course not? Then why get rid of your spouse because you’re going through a rough patch?

Is it because there is no biological connection and that supposedly gets rid of the “problem”? This is completely unbiblical;but a lot of people,even  in the church, don’t seem to care.

 

Some of the divorce settlements are scandalous to say the least, for example.

 

Once upon a time, there was a man who made millions of dollars working in the media, He was married,several years into the marriage, he traveled alone away from home and family from time to

 

time, got a girlfriend, (which is totally wrong no doubt) They get divorced,she gets spousal support of roughly one third of his income totally “free money” until she either remarries or he dies,she also gets the big house as well.

 

Bottom Line: She is not EVER going to remarry and will end up having nothing but “boy toys” (on his dime)

 

Of course while not as common,the same situation happens to women as well.

 

There was a woman,who I really admired, she was married, had children and in an age of false role models, I wanted to be able to hold this woman up as a model of a true christian woman.

 

Anyway, she worked with a new man,they have an affair, she gets a divorce, describes the marriage as (paraphrasing: suffocating) gets married to this other man (who also left his wife) they have a child. (This is a woman who touted christian values and was admired by a lot of people)

 

None of us are perfect;but there can be no rationalizations to the path that she has chosen. The now ex husband, acknowledged that they had problems and indicated that he wanted to work it out;but she didn’t want to at all.

 

With God, there are no evolving standards, There is no “getting with the times” There is that psycho bable phrase, “I love you;but I’m not in love with you anymore.”  In other words, you no longer make me happy. Love is not all about feelings.

 

People love the idea the idea of getting married, getting the chapel ready,the flowers the ring, the tuxedo, the dress etc a real fairy tale; but fail to think about the commitment when times get tough as they inevitably will.

 

Remember Hebrews chapter 13 verse 4 where God speaks about the sanctity of marriage and that he will judge fornicators and adulterers. That verse specifically mentions keeping the marriage bed undefiled.

 

In the old testament, God talks about sexual immorality as polluting the land.

 

At the end of the day, Marriage is a sacred God created institution and should be fought for, not ridiculed, even as divorce has become fashionable and commonplace.

There are no real winners in divorce.

 

Let me know what you think.

Happy New Year,Happy 2012

E.Umana here, at long last after a long hiatus wanting to wish you the best new year ever.

A time of joy or a time of sadness for those who had a bad year or lost loved ones this past year, I’ve been busy with other projects, I hope I wasn’t missed too much, well I’m back here to wish you and yours the very best new years, Its a good thing to set goals nothing too unrealistic or out of God’s will of course.

If you have questions in regard to family and marital issues from a christian standpoint, feel free to ask.

Until next time
-E.Umana