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E.Umana here, I hope you are enjoying this Resurrection day. Jesus has risen and is alive forever more and all of us who put our faith and trust in him will do the same. Keep this in mind as you go about your day.

Here in america and much of the world, there is so much

turmoil, but as christians, we must look at things from an eternal view, knowing that all this is temporal and is

just a blip compared to eternity. It sort of reminds me of the biblical admonition to mourn (for a deceased loved one) but not like much of the

world who has no hope (ie they don’t believe in an afterlife from a biblical standpoint.) You frequently hear the term

“You only live once or You only have one life.”  which is plainly not true. On another note,Please say a prayer for my hometown of Saint Louis, Missouri,

where tornados ripped through the area, destroying nearly everything in its path including homes,businesses and the airport,which made the authorities issue a statement that they are closing the main airport indefinitely. You can give to the red cross specific to the Saint Louis Area at http://www.redcrossstl.org to help those who have lost everything and are in emergency shelters this easter.

 

We can sometimes get discouraged and say now that I have repented of my sin, shouldn’t the Lord protect me from misfortune or calamity?

Even christians who have repented are still on this planet and continue to sin and need forgiveness on a daily basis. The bible says that the rain falls on the just and the unjust, hence christians get cancer and face all the problems that

others who don’t believe face. But Jesus also said that he is coming quickly to give a reward to everyone according
to the works done in the flesh.

We must never take the view why would a loving God allow so much tragedy and turmoil to happen in the world, we might not be able to understand it on this side; but we must remember we are finite and he is infinite. He sees things we can’t see or understand.

God so loved the world

Read these verses to focus on his love,mercy,majesty and justice

John 3v16

Isaiah 6

Habakkuk 1:13

Till Next Time
E.Umana

E.Umana here,back after a hectic 6 months,back with a vengeance and a brand new blog post, If you like it or find it interesting, see the link below to share it with your friends on facebook,twitter etc. As always, let me know what you think.

We’ve all seen the endless merchandise with the phrase, what would Jesus do? What would you do when tragedy and difficulties strike? Would you follow his advice or dismiss it?

A few weeks ago, I watched a story on cbs news about Mike Daly ,whose wife Carol in her late fifties developed alzheimer’s disease,he had to retire early to take care of her, I watched as he did the chores, cooked and put on her makeup, he gained alot of weight as the stress seemed to really get to him.

He could have walked away or sent her to a nursing home to be taken care of;but he didn’t. see it here Life is not a bowl of cherries.

As christians, we are to take the good as well as the bad,we are to take those marriage vows seriously. Years ago when Nancy Reagan was asked why she chose to take care of her ailing husband, she responded, that he would have done the same for her.

Marriage is a God given covenant,which should not be entered into haphazardly or ended willy nilly. Last month, there was the story of Charles Lome, who found his wife had collapsed and was not breathing and so he tried to give her CPR and ended up panicking and dying himself, it just amazed me how something like that can happen.

Just yesterday on Fox and Friends, I watched the story of Matt Logelin, whose wife Liz, was his high school sweetheart,just 27 hours after giving birth to their first child Maddy, died of a pulmonary embolism. The devastated husband went on to write a blog,which attracted a huge following and book detailing his journey. see it here

I don’t know the faiths (or lack of faith) of these people;but I am struck by the deep love and commitment that they had for one another.

You may not always have that “new car feeling” (That phase, where the love you feel and show to each other, is at its strongest, where people have to keep saying “Get a room you two”) but marriage is most definitely worth it.

Those stories need to (however tragic or difficult they might be) inspire us to commit ourselves to our family and even try to love even when we don’t feel as loved.

 

God first loved us, even as we didn’t know him or even rejected him. This goes against the grain of worldly thinking of I need to take care of myself first, says whom?, certainly not the bible. Taking care of yourself is good; but not in the way that its being advocated or exercised today.

Contrast that with some celebrities (who shall remained unnamed) who “fall in love” with their co-star,leave their marriage to be with the lover and forsake their marriage vows,even those who in the past, were christian role models by initially, not letting the hollywood lifestyle change or sometimes corrupt their values.

I personally knew someone who paid a woman thousands of dollars to marry him so that he could stay in the country (US),That’s nothing new of course;but I could never do it no matter how hard up I was for cash as I, while not claiming to be perfect, take marriage as a covenant very seriously.

According to a cbsnews story entitled “I don’t” The Decline of Marriage” Fewer Americans are getting married, in fact the number of marriages dropped a full 18 percent from 1970 to 2010

That’s a lot of weekend fathers and mothers out there. Its understandable that some people with a child or children should not marry the father or mother,particularly if there is violence or infidelity etc,

However,Study after study has shown that a child benefits greatly, when as soon as he or she is taken out of the womb (in other words, born) there should be both a mother and father looking adoringly at him or her. There is a reason why every human being gets 23 chromosomes each from the mother and the father.

Even with this decline of marriage, the business of marriage is booming, from hotel rentals,wedding dresses and tuxedoes,limos,honeymoons,flowers etc etc.

People seem to be in love with the idea of getting married and don’t seem to think about the “hard” and necessary work that goes into making a marriage last. See it here

This blog is politically incorrect and may seem “judgmental” to some; but these are issues that urgently need to be addressed.

Until Next Time

E.Umana

E.Umana here with a post that you may be able to relate to or you might even be offended; this is food for thought for the weekend,

Don’t forget to spend some time in the word and let me know what you think of this post, either way.

In a world where bad economic news dominates the media headlines and with unemployment at record highs,now more than ever,families are struggling to make ends meet,so much so that in many cases,two paychecks are needed just to keep their heads above water to pay the bills.

Traditionally, women who have mainly raised the children,bathed them and fed them, shopped for clothes and food, hugged them when they fall down and got scraped,cleaned the house,did the laundry and were still able to cook the meals.

Today, this if far less likely to be the case.

Today,women make up almost half of the workforce and a clear majority of today’s college graduates and students (Lesley Stahl once did a story about the dearth of male college student on the TV news show 60 minutes) and are climbing to the highest echelons of corporate America…and beyond.

In a growing number cases,women are running multi-billion dollar enterprises with hundreds of thousands of employees under her leadership.

In today’s current economy,in many households, the man’s paycheck is no longer enough to pay the bills,its just not cutting the mustard. So if both the husband and wife are working. Who does the chores? Who cooks the meals? What does the bible say about this?

This does lead back to a common theme that men and women are equal but different. one is not better than the other or has more intrinsic worth before God. Those God given differences are why God gave husbands and wives different commands and admonitions. (see Ephesians 5 or 1 Peter 3)

When you decided to marry, you willingly gave up your “independence” to a great degree, you both are a team, you are now part of one another and working together,respecting each other enough to do whatever is necessary to do what benefits your marriage,each other and your family is what’s called for, even when you feel as lazy as a buffoon.

There is the new buzz word “me time” that is a worldly term and a selfish one.

Keep this in mind from 1 Corinthians 7v4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

On one hand, The man IS to be the main provider. The bible says that a MAN who will not take care (or provide) of his family is worse than an infidel (unbeliever) 1Timothy 5v8

On the other hand, a woman who is a doctor,gets married to a trash hauler (Hey, it does happen, love can be blind) she being a doctor is in a much better position to provide for the family and should not be expected to do all the chores once she gets home (if they don’t have hired help)

Even if the man, (still in most cases, though its slowly changing) is the top earner, household chores should be discussed and shared with a complete meeting of the minds knowing what chores each spouse will do and when, especially if this has drawn a big wedge between you and your spouse.

I know that its not the most romantic thing to do;but many marriages have ended bitterly where one spouse (usually the wife) feels taken for granted,taken advantage of like a doormat or slave. “All he does is sit in front of the TV and watch the game all day” or “You don’t do anything around here, leaving me to cook and clean while you go out with the guys almost every night”

Women,without question, still do most of the chores even if she’s working.

Men need to step up and gives their wives a hand, you are called to love and respect your wives, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 1Peter 3v7 (Men, Your masculinity will not wash off with the dish water.)

Conversely, nowadays, it seems to be a badge of honor for a woman who says that she can’t cook. (I know this is only anecdotal;but years ago there was a TV show, (which shall be unnamed) where the main character kept stating the fact that I still will not cook as if cooking was something that diminished her status as a woman. Not being able to cook especially when you have kids and can’t afford “take out” everyday is nothing to be proud of.

In some cultures, if a man were to go in the kitchen to try to cook,the wife would get offended and spill something hot on him, in effect she’s saying. You don’t think I’m a capable or responsible enough wife to cook for the family.

This is not,by any means to say that the only thing a woman is good for is to cook the meals, however this is a clarion call for married couples to work together,if necessary with an unbiased third party (and no your friend from third grade is not unbiased:-)) to work out any differences in this area and is especially something that would be married couples need to deal with BEFORE falling head over heels and taking the plunge and not say “I’ll change him or her after we’re married”. These things can be worked out and they do not have to be a deal (or marriage) breaker. Seeking the Lord and mutual respect is Key.

Until Next Time
E.Umana

E.Umana here with a question, Do you have an unrealistic,perhaps idealistic or downright naive view of what married life would be like and now you’re down in the dumps because everything didn’t turn out as you thought it would?

Just because you married your high school sweetheart and he/she shares your faith and you think “Our marriage is going to get better and better, after all, we’re christians”

Being a christian does not guarantee a trouble free marriage, after all, Marriage problems can happen in any marriage. There has even been some research to indicate that the rate of divorce among christians mirrors that of non christian marriages.

If so, Do you throw up your hands and give up on your marriage and get a divorce because you had a heated argument? Absolutely not?

Conflict, disagreements are inevitable at some point in your marriage.

Don’t let your marriage problems get the best of you. You can take some concrete steps to turn things around. You must acknowledge that there is a problem and deal with it quickly, There is that saying “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger” which is so true.

If you and your spouse refuse to deal with that conflict or even to acknowledge that there is a problem, like cancer it will continue to fester and it will eventually blow over. Don’t think that if you have some major issues in your marriage and you both refuse to deal with them, that somehow,like magic it will work itself out. That’s not going to happen.

Some time ago,on the news, it was reported that a woman was arrested for handcuffing herself to her husband in order to iron out their marriage problems and going on to assault him as well, this is not the way, by any stretch, the appropriate way to deal with conflict/disagreements.

Different People…Different Viewpoints

Whenever you have two different people with differing view, at times its going to cause friction, friction naturally causes heat and heat as you know, causes fire, that doesn’t mean that any marriage problems can’t ultimately, be handled in a Godly way that brings harmony regardless of the circumstances. No two people are going to like the exact same things or see things in the exact same way.

Don’t try to outdo each other:

Many couples have those infamous heated arguments and will throw everything, including the kitchen sink,in an effort to hurt or outdo their spouse and “win” the argument by dredging up things that happened in the past,even things that are unrelated to the topic at hand, things that have already been dealt with or even things one spouse had told them in confidence is now being used to ridicule them instead. Don’t fight fire with fire.

Overcome evil with good. Romans 12v21. Do you know that song by Sara Evans “I could not ask for more”? It has one line saying “smiling just to see that smile upon your face”

When you argue, try not to shout or yell at your spouse, it seems that the more you shout and yell, the more your spouse will shout and yell in response, trying to shout over you to dominate the argument, besides being immature,destructive and counterproductive,its not pleasing to God and it does not set a good example to the children who are bound to see and hear Dad And Mom “going at it”

Let me know what you think.

E.Umana

E.Umana here, I hope you’re having a great weekend so far. In this post, its about divorce, you may agree or you may not, please share your thoughts either way. ad hominen attacks will be laughed at or ignored. I have been amazed by some rather strong opinions on this issue.

Divorce has become so common in today’s culture and is so often the first option at the first sign of difficulty.

Divorce can be contagious,as one couple gets divorce and their friends get divorce and so on and so on.

People see a person who got divorced and it may have been for legitimate grounds or they may have bought the world’s lie that the only way to end the “freak show” (dysfunctional) arguments etc was to end the marriage and gain a new sense of freedom and relief or repeat the world’s mantra “having that divorce made me a stronger person”.

There’s even the recent phenomenon of divorce parties (lavish affairs to kick back, have some fun and announce that they’re back on the market or they use the popular term “single again”)

They might have discussed the marriage problems they’re having at home to a friend and the friend gave their advice that its time to end it,

Thus Planting that first seed in their mind to get a divorce.

Marriage as God intended is permanent. Again, God said that he hates divorce Malachi 2.

While there are legitimate grounds for divorce such as violence (both gender can be abusers) or infidelity. People get divorced too easily these days (No fault divorce anyone? Someone is always at fault in some way)

Part of it is due to declining morals, a lack of integrity and commitment (to God or their spouse, marriage is not just a union between a man and a women for a lifetime;but its a commitment made between a man, a woman before God and involving God)

God said that he hates divorce for it covers one’s garments with violence. We all know about that desire for revenge, Read Malachi 2v 13-16

I just saw a story on Yahoo (via the daily beast) that chronicles the top 50 U.S. cities with the highest divorce rates. they call them divorce capitals, with Panama City,Florida, leading the pack.

While there are times when divorce is actually the best option for a given situation, it shouldn’t be the first.

Secular psychologists and psychiatrists will issue all sort of reports to support their worldview and say that children are not disproportionately affected by their parent’s divorce don’t buy into it, it does affect them… well into adulthood.

No one can argue that having that “tug of war” between their parents and bouncing the kids around seeing mom and dad intermittently is an ideal situation.

I was walking on a Saint Louis Street, minding my own business and coming towards me, I heard this man shouting on his cell phone, he was red faced and really angry, while I could hear only one side of the conversation, he was saying I’m coming up there to see my daughter, you can’t stop me from seeing my daughter. He was going on and on. I feel for him.

The daughter probably loves both parents and she probably doesn’t like this volatile situation going on between both parents.

Christian theologian Dr. Richard Land mentioned a study on marriages that survive and those who chose divorce .

In the study, it was between couples who got divorced and those stayed together to work out their problems and it shows that five years later “the stick it out” couples had a much higher rate of success than the the couples who decided to get a divorce.

Divorce has even been made to look fashionable and some celebrity spouse will say “I want it all, the houses, the cars, the beachfront condo, I’m going to get what’s coming to me and then proceed to use some expletive to describe their soon to be ex-spouse.

Don’t give up too soon. As marriages are falling apart all around you, you don’t have to follow the crowd, try the tips below instead and when you get the struggles and low points in your marriage, stick it out and when you come out on the other side, you’ll truly be glad you did.

Try this:

Seek Godly counsel

Pray to God regularly, he will hear you and direct your paths if you humble yourself and are open to him.

Respect each other (saying thank you and please go a long way.)

Acknowledge and respect the God given differences between the sexes.

Do things together

Love each other, make the effort.

Handle disagreements privately and civilly. TAKE A DEEP BREATH!

Date each other regularly, just the two of you, make it happen,

Do unexpected and some would say undeserved things for one another.(The other spouse will notice)

Again,Listen up,Have regular prayer and devotion time together.

Take care of your debts, it can really strain a marriage and is frequently mentioned (along with sex) as one of the top causes of divorce.

Until Next Time
E.Umana

E.Umana here.
Here’s something to brighten up the upcoming weekend. I first saw this video and embedded it in my blog over a year ago (before my blog was hacked) as a way to brighten up my subscriber’s day in the midst of an almost daily barrage of bad economic news. Its funny and solemn and who doesn’t like a good wedding video? Little did I know that they are christians and know the Lord. Watch the first video and then the second.

As you may know the first video really took off in video views posted on various video sites, They were totally amazed and got lots of media attention.

Here’s The Second Video

Hopefully this will put a smile on your face. Feel free to share this post using the social links below and please leave a comment below. Let me know what you think.

Until Next Time
-E.Umana

E.Umana here and I have been so busy attending to other matters that I have completely neglected this blog…well no more.

There is an issue that I would like your input on.
As many of you may already know, Golfer Tiger Woods’ Divorce was finalized some weeks ago. When his infidelity first became public, alot of people weren’t sure if Elin,his wife would divorce him.

It goes without saying that that kind of serial infidelity is very hard to stop, especially if you don’t have a strong faith foundation and so while she may have forgiven him, she rightfully doesn’t want to risk her health and self respect by being with him.

It reminds me of a conversation that I was having with a friend about what the biblical grounds for divorce are.

I was having a conversation with my friend on what are legitimate grounds to get a divorce. I happened to mention infidelity and violence. My friend seemed to strongly disagree stating that the bible does not include violence as a good reason for a couple to divorce.

I responded by saying that if a woman is regularly beaten into a bloody pulp,she has no legitimate grounds for divorce (from a biblical standpoint)?

He still didn’t agree with me.I don’t want to go shouting where the bible is silent; but God has given us all discernment when it comes to solving issues in a way that is pleasing to him.

He subsequently mentioned that infidelity and abandonment are grounds for divorce and that beating his wife (as I mentioned in my example) could be seen as abandoning the biblical mandate for husbands to love their wives as their own bodies (I’m paraphrasing)

To me that’s like saying that when a man (or woman) brutally assaults their spouse and everyone says “don’t get involved, its a family matter” Violence is a legitimate ground for divorce from a biblical perspective.

If I could continue that conversation, I would have also included abandonment as a legitimate ground for divorce, like the soon to be former South Carolina Governor who allegedly told his staff that he was going on a hiking trip when in reality, he went to Argentina to be with his “soul mate” (his words) even though he was married to someone else, had a family and was a public figure.

Let me know what you think.

What do you think besides the reasons stated above are legitimate biblical grounds for divorce.

E.Umana

E.Umana here, on a hot August Day here in Louisville,Ky.

I haven’t been posting lately;but now that’s about to change. I hope you will take some time to look at my previous posts and my About Me page.

In upcoming posts, I will be commenting on current trends,news and issues affecting marriage from a biblical standpoint,practical information that Christ followers can relate to and apply in their own lives and is not politically correct.

I have several articles floating around the internet,which you can see here on the Resources page.

In order to keep you updated on any new blog posts as they’re posted. Signup to get my free ebook 12 Marriage Killers and you’ll automatically be notified by email when a new post goes lives.

Let me know what you think

-E.Umana

E.Umana here, with 16 simple but often overlooked ways to improve your marriage, though this is mainly from a Christian perspective, it provides practical suggestions that the non Christian can benefit from as well.

If You Like This Post, See The “Sharing Is Caring” Sign at the bottom of this post to send this to others..

This is by no means a cure all or exhaustive resource. Reading and applying these tips will make a real difference in your marriage.

1.Date each other: Make time away from the kids, jobs etc for just the two of you.

2.Parental discipline: Be on the same page You don’t want to say no to your child; only to have him/her go to your spouse who gives him/her a different answer.

Don’t try to live vicariously through your child by giving in to their every demand,not setting reasonable boundaries Or automatically taking their side even when you know that they’re wrong..

That will hurt them more than help them in the future. Again both parents need to be on the same page.

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3. Show, don’t just say that you love one another.

4.Go out of your way to do something for your spouse even when you feel that they don’t deserve it or even if you know they will not appreciate it.

5. Seek God and serve him. God has to be at the center of your marriage.

6.Don’t let the sun go down on your anger; Don’t let arguments and disagreements fester into resentment, hostility or even violence by avoiding each other. Work it out as soon as possible, it might require some swallowing of pride; but make the effort.

7.Be more forgiving of your spouse’s faults, of course there are limits (e.g. infidelity or violence)
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8.Constructive criticism is necessary and good; being a nag and constantly tearing down your spouse is not.
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9.Take your marital vows seriously. Those vows are not just made between you and your spouse. You stood before God and pledged your undying love to one another of which we shall all be held accountable Hebrews 13v4:

.“Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled;but fornicators and adulterers,God will judge.”

10. Encourage each other:
When your spouse comes home from work, got passed over for a promotion or raise and feels like the whole world is against them, give them the encouragement/ego boost that they need.
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11.Love one another even when you don’t feel like it even after the honeymoon phase is long gone. Forget the fairy tales, Love is not just a feeling, it’s a commitment.
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Just the other day, at my local Mcdonald’s restaurant, I saw a man slice up the pancakes and feed his obviously disabled wife.I could tell that they were married a long time, just by looking at them.
I admired his patience and commitment to her.
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12.Put your family ahead of any personal career aspirations. Not everyone is cut out to be an NBA Superstar Basket ball player or Movie Star. Don’t selfishly pursue goals that could cause a strain in your marriage and family.
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Think about how possibly your decision will affect, not just you; but your marriage and family as well, in a marriage, Contrary to conventional thinking, you are not entirely independent, you need to consult one another before making certain decisions that could affect the whole family.
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13.Find something that you both enjoy doing and do it regularly together. Try to find something that requires the both of you to get it done.
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14.Physical violence in any form MUST not be tolerated. “Oh baby, it won’t happen again” chances are, it will happen again and again and again, unless the abuser gets help or when the one spouse who fears for their very life chooses to end the marriage and leaves.
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15.Acknowledge and respect the God given gender differences This can cause alot of tension if not handled right. (Keep in mind,there are exceptions to the rule).

Don’t expect your wife to act like a man (arm wrestling, monster truck,Mixed martial arts,belching,passing gas and cussing for fun).

Don’t expect your husband to act like a woman (multi tasking, soap operas,shopping,baby showers,Haute Coture, taking two hours in the bathroom etc.
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16.No comparisons:
Do you think to yourself?, “I wish that my spouse was more like someone else’s spouse.”
Stop it, Your spouse will and can never be like someone else, this is your one and only spouse.

For More Ways To Keep Your Marriage From Dying A Slow Death And Get The Free Ebook “12 Marriage Killers”

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-E.Umana

Thanks For Stopping By.

E.Umana here, your blog host extraordinaire.

This blog was first established in November 2008 to give people, primarily,biblically based advice on marriage and family.

This blog had thousands of people visiting and it also made a true impact on people’s lives. With over 100 blog posts,free offers,commentary,articles,twitter tweets etc.

Sometime in late 2009, it got hacked and all the valuable content was destroyed.

It seems that some people cannot tolerate different viewpoints especially biblically based ones.

I had pretty much given up on making regular posts; but I know that this blog can once again have a real impact on people’s lives, marriages and families.

If you want well reasoned and biblically based marital advice.

Christian Marriage Works/Askme7.com is the place to be.

The politically correct viewpoint can easily be found elsewhere.

I hope that you will subscribe to my newsletter for blog updates, freebies and yes product recommendations of products that I feel, can truly benefit single people wanting to get married,Divorced people considering marriage again, blended families and Married couples, even those who don’t know the Lord for example.

There are people who are people who are desperately searching for real practical answers as to why their marriage has fallen apart or is about to fall apart and they are probably not religious at all;but as a result of their determined search for answers, may even come to faith in Jesus Christ.

As you read the upcoming posts, invite a friend to with this blog regularly.

This is still very much a work in progress.

Sincerely-E.Umana