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Posts Tagged ‘best marital advice’

E.Umana here with part two of this long post, I hope that it caused you to really reflect on things,between you and God,your spouse,children and life in general. Please let me know what you think, one way or the other.

 

We have the light of conscience (we know right from wrong) and the light of creation. There is a reason why the seasons come and go, why the gestational period for a human being is 9 months and for an elephant 22 months. There is a sense of order in everything around us.

What a person believe does matter. Many wars have been started in the name of religion and what they think God would want them to do has resulted in numerous and unnecessary deaths.

Christians believe in the inerrancy of scripture (2 Timothy 3v16) that Jesus is the only way to God The Father (John 14v6 or Act 4v12) If you want true evidence to strenghthen your faith, Try reading   The Case for Faith: A Journalist Investigates the Toughest Objections to Christianity  this book (released in 2000) by former atheist and Lawyer Lee Strobel (Author of  The Case for Christ ) using his considerable legal skills to examine the evidence one way or another as to the claims of Christ and the bible and answers alot of the objections that skeptics have about christianity.

Marriage tip number two: What you believe affects every aspect of your life, your eternity, your marriage, What values you pass on to your children (if you have any) how you treat your fellow human beings etc.

It is also important to note that there is substantial divisions even within a religion, for example Wars between the Catholics and Protestants within christiandom or between the shiites and Sunnis in Islam or the Orthodox and Reformed in Judaism among others.

There are alot of false prophets and preachers out there who use scripture to enrich themselves with what some call the prosperity preachers who live lavish lifestyles by taking scriptures of Giving and receiving out of context to lure those are not well grounded in their faith to send them vast sums of money.

Many of these same false prophets have been exposed for their deception and ungodly lives. While we are all told to be imitators of Christ (Ephesian 5v1-2). Church leaders are held to a higher standard, God has given them their position and authority to lead his flock to a closer relationship with him and their punishment will be worse. When they act hypocritically,they cause people to blashpheme God.

They can even make people lose their faith in God. Discernment skills do matter. Marriage tip number 3: Make a regular time with your spouse (and family) to read,pray and study the bible (Romans 12v2) Do not be conformed to this world;but Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Make sure that you are attending a bible believing church, one who doesn’t preach acceptance of things or practices that go against scripture. Some may say that what you believe in your heart is more important than attending church.

The bible says that we are not to forsake the assembling of ourselves (Hebrews 10v25) in other words going to church regularly builds up your faith by being around other like minded believers who will stand in stark contrast to that raving atheists who will ridicule your faith as something for the weak minded to use a crutch who can’t handle what life dishes out or that belief in God is a fairy tale among other things.

Look within your self to re evaluate your relationship with God. I feel good to have recommended The Bible answer man with Hank Hanegraaff (a program that I have listened to on an off for over 10 years) to a friend which he enjoys and learns from. You can google it for the podcast, its also available on itunes.

This is a call in radio program mainly about discernment and you will sometimes hear some of the christian heretics (in their own words) say stuff like “I have equality with God” that is so breathtaking and total heresy.

Next Time: Do you know where your money is going? Do you have a budget in place. Is God relevant to your day to day finances?  Is it causing tension in your marriage? Threatening to tear it apart?

 

Stop Your Marriage From Getting Stale. E.Umana is a Louisville,KY based author on internet marketing and christian topics. You can learn more about in the links below: http://www.affairsinthechurch.com

Marriage: And The Most Dangerous Human Body Part Is?

http://www.12marriagekillers.com

E.Umana here, I hope that you are having a good weekend so far,despite all the bad economic numbers that came out last week. Let me know what you think of this post, I’ve broken it up as I didn’t want it to be too long for you to read.

Number one marriage tip,Know what you believe and why you believe it. Do not be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6 v14), Marry someone who shares your faith as it can cause all sorts of problems if you do not, If you are married to someone who doesn’t share your faith, should you divorce your spouse and break your marriage vows? No way!

Blog post continued below video (You might want to check out the video as well)

 

 
Many people will say that all paths lead to the same destination, in other words, all religions lead to God,others will say I can’t believe that with all the religions and various belief systems out there, that Jesus is the only way to heaven and that those who believe otherwise are considered intolerant and narrow minded.

One can co exist peacefully (as much as is possible, according to scripture verse Romans 12v 18) with others who have different beliefs, while not buying into or accepting those different beliefs.

If every belief system is valid. It would not make any difference if a person went to a church on Sunday, a mosque on Friday,a Sikh Temple on Wednesday or Synagogue on Saturday and on and on.

That is totally absurd as many of the basic tenets of many of the different religions are diametrically opposed to one another.Yet we have those who have interfaith services, read from the “holy” book of a completely different faith in church and say that we worship the same God.

 

No we do not. Some may see that as intolerant or even bigoted. We are not judging their eternity,we are making judgments and choices based on what we believe.

Once we die,God will be more real than anything we have ever experienced in this life. There are those who have no belief system at all.
We are not to force our views on others, we can only spread the word (as we are commanded) in a loving but uncompromising manner and not be ashamed when asked about your views.

According to Psalm 14v1 The fool has said in his heart that there is no God. Even the most strident unbeliever knows that there is a God.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 (New International Version)

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set ETERNITY in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

 

The Bible starts with “In the Beginning GOD created the heavens and the earth” not There was this big bang that happened millions of years ago or human life started as tadpoles from some primordial ooze.

No, The bible presupposes the existence of God and his word. As I often say, We are not all here as the sole result of our parents “getting it on” (with all due respect) in the backseat of of that 57 Chevy, nor did God ask for our permission when he created us.

We all have a purpose and reason for being alive and we will not be alive 1 second past God deciding to take our lives.

Make each day a day lived for him and enjoy and appreciate what he has done for you and put your trust in him even when everything seems to be crashing around you.

 

Remember the woman who had an issue of blood for 12 long years? she believed in Jesus. For she thought to herself, “If I can just touch his clothing, I will be healed.” Immediately the bleeding stopped, and she could feel that she had been healed! (Mark 5v25)

Stay tuned for part two (coming soon)

Stop Your Marriage From Getting Stale.
E.Umana is a Louisville,KY based author on internet marketing and christian topics. You can learn more  in the links below: http://www.affairsinthechurch.com

http://www.askme7.com

http://www.12marriagekillers.com

E.Umana here,back after a hectic 6 months,back with a vengeance and a brand new blog post, If you like it or find it interesting, see the link below to share it with your friends on facebook,twitter etc. As always, let me know what you think.

We’ve all seen the endless merchandise with the phrase, what would Jesus do? What would you do when tragedy and difficulties strike? Would you follow his advice or dismiss it?

A few weeks ago, I watched a story on cbs news about Mike Daly ,whose wife Carol in her late fifties developed alzheimer’s disease,he had to retire early to take care of her, I watched as he did the chores, cooked and put on her makeup, he gained alot of weight as the stress seemed to really get to him.

He could have walked away or sent her to a nursing home to be taken care of;but he didn’t. see it here Life is not a bowl of cherries.

As christians, we are to take the good as well as the bad,we are to take those marriage vows seriously. Years ago when Nancy Reagan was asked why she chose to take care of her ailing husband, she responded, that he would have done the same for her.

Marriage is a God given covenant,which should not be entered into haphazardly or ended willy nilly. Last month, there was the story of Charles Lome, who found his wife had collapsed and was not breathing and so he tried to give her CPR and ended up panicking and dying himself, it just amazed me how something like that can happen.

Just yesterday on Fox and Friends, I watched the story of Matt Logelin, whose wife Liz, was his high school sweetheart,just 27 hours after giving birth to their first child Maddy, died of a pulmonary embolism. The devastated husband went on to write a blog,which attracted a huge following and book detailing his journey. see it here

I don’t know the faiths (or lack of faith) of these people;but I am struck by the deep love and commitment that they had for one another.

You may not always have that “new car feeling” (That phase, where the love you feel and show to each other, is at its strongest, where people have to keep saying “Get a room you two”) but marriage is most definitely worth it.

Those stories need to (however tragic or difficult they might be) inspire us to commit ourselves to our family and even try to love even when we don’t feel as loved.

 

God first loved us, even as we didn’t know him or even rejected him. This goes against the grain of worldly thinking of I need to take care of myself first, says whom?, certainly not the bible. Taking care of yourself is good; but not in the way that its being advocated or exercised today.

Contrast that with some celebrities (who shall remained unnamed) who “fall in love” with their co-star,leave their marriage to be with the lover and forsake their marriage vows,even those who in the past, were christian role models by initially, not letting the hollywood lifestyle change or sometimes corrupt their values.

I personally knew someone who paid a woman thousands of dollars to marry him so that he could stay in the country (US),That’s nothing new of course;but I could never do it no matter how hard up I was for cash as I, while not claiming to be perfect, take marriage as a covenant very seriously.

According to a cbsnews story entitled “I don’t” The Decline of Marriage” Fewer Americans are getting married, in fact the number of marriages dropped a full 18 percent from 1970 to 2010

That’s a lot of weekend fathers and mothers out there. Its understandable that some people with a child or children should not marry the father or mother,particularly if there is violence or infidelity etc,

However,Study after study has shown that a child benefits greatly, when as soon as he or she is taken out of the womb (in other words, born) there should be both a mother and father looking adoringly at him or her. There is a reason why every human being gets 23 chromosomes each from the mother and the father.

Even with this decline of marriage, the business of marriage is booming, from hotel rentals,wedding dresses and tuxedoes,limos,honeymoons,flowers etc etc.

People seem to be in love with the idea of getting married and don’t seem to think about the “hard” and necessary work that goes into making a marriage last. See it here

This blog is politically incorrect and may seem “judgmental” to some; but these are issues that urgently need to be addressed.

Until Next Time

E.Umana

E.Umana here, with 16 simple but often overlooked ways to improve your marriage, though this is mainly from a Christian perspective, it provides practical suggestions that the non Christian can benefit from as well.

If You Like This Post, See The “Sharing Is Caring” Sign at the bottom of this post to send this to others..

This is by no means a cure all or exhaustive resource. Reading and applying these tips will make a real difference in your marriage.

1.Date each other: Make time away from the kids, jobs etc for just the two of you.

2.Parental discipline: Be on the same page You don’t want to say no to your child; only to have him/her go to your spouse who gives him/her a different answer.

Don’t try to live vicariously through your child by giving in to their every demand,not setting reasonable boundaries Or automatically taking their side even when you know that they’re wrong..

That will hurt them more than help them in the future. Again both parents need to be on the same page.

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3. Show, don’t just say that you love one another.

4.Go out of your way to do something for your spouse even when you feel that they don’t deserve it or even if you know they will not appreciate it.

5. Seek God and serve him. God has to be at the center of your marriage.

6.Don’t let the sun go down on your anger; Don’t let arguments and disagreements fester into resentment, hostility or even violence by avoiding each other. Work it out as soon as possible, it might require some swallowing of pride; but make the effort.

7.Be more forgiving of your spouse’s faults, of course there are limits (e.g. infidelity or violence)
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8.Constructive criticism is necessary and good; being a nag and constantly tearing down your spouse is not.
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9.Take your marital vows seriously. Those vows are not just made between you and your spouse. You stood before God and pledged your undying love to one another of which we shall all be held accountable Hebrews 13v4:

.“Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled;but fornicators and adulterers,God will judge.”

10. Encourage each other:
When your spouse comes home from work, got passed over for a promotion or raise and feels like the whole world is against them, give them the encouragement/ego boost that they need.
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11.Love one another even when you don’t feel like it even after the honeymoon phase is long gone. Forget the fairy tales, Love is not just a feeling, it’s a commitment.
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Just the other day, at my local Mcdonald’s restaurant, I saw a man slice up the pancakes and feed his obviously disabled wife.I could tell that they were married a long time, just by looking at them.
I admired his patience and commitment to her.
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12.Put your family ahead of any personal career aspirations. Not everyone is cut out to be an NBA Superstar Basket ball player or Movie Star. Don’t selfishly pursue goals that could cause a strain in your marriage and family.
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Think about how possibly your decision will affect, not just you; but your marriage and family as well, in a marriage, Contrary to conventional thinking, you are not entirely independent, you need to consult one another before making certain decisions that could affect the whole family.
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13.Find something that you both enjoy doing and do it regularly together. Try to find something that requires the both of you to get it done.
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14.Physical violence in any form MUST not be tolerated. “Oh baby, it won’t happen again” chances are, it will happen again and again and again, unless the abuser gets help or when the one spouse who fears for their very life chooses to end the marriage and leaves.
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15.Acknowledge and respect the God given gender differences This can cause alot of tension if not handled right. (Keep in mind,there are exceptions to the rule).

Don’t expect your wife to act like a man (arm wrestling, monster truck,Mixed martial arts,belching,passing gas and cussing for fun).

Don’t expect your husband to act like a woman (multi tasking, soap operas,shopping,baby showers,Haute Coture, taking two hours in the bathroom etc.
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16.No comparisons:
Do you think to yourself?, “I wish that my spouse was more like someone else’s spouse.”
Stop it, Your spouse will and can never be like someone else, this is your one and only spouse.

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-E.Umana