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E.Umana here, I hope the weekend has been good for you. I don’t know how much of this debt ceiling news coverage I can take. Here is part two of my blog post on guarding your heart.
Let me know what you think.
 

Garbage In,Garbage Out.

What you or your spouse takes in (internet,TV,Newspaper,Radio etc) can affect you or your spouse very intensely. These mediums can serve a very good purpose,we all need to be well informed;but we also need to be very discerning as well. A friend once said that Facebook has ruined so many marriages.

It (facebook) can also be very destructive as well when some people can’t seem to separate the virtual world with the real world.

Again Facebook,like anything else can be used for good or evil,depending on how one chooses to use it.

Pornography has no place in a christian marriage, it will not spice things up,it makes the spouse (ususally the wife) feel inadequate, unable to match the women in physical attraction or sexually in the images or videos.

Romance novels (not all of them are bad of course) which glamorizes women who are bored,going through a difficult period in their marriage and dissatisfied in their marriage, falls in love with that buff,handsome and chivalrous Cable guy or Rich English Duke with the “killer” smile who looks deeply in your eyes and makes your knees go weak with excitement.

First Corinthians chapter 10 verse 23 says: All things are lawful;but not all things are profitable.

Translation: While something may permissible like hanging out with your ex from high school,even though you are married,it is not helpful to your marriage and it can rightly be argued that it doesn’t in any meaningful way, build up or strengthen your current marriage.

Till Next Time
E.Umana

Stop Fumbling In The Dark When It Comes To Your Marriage. E.Umana is a Louisville,KY based author on internet marketing and christian topics Learn More Click These Links. http://www.affairsinthechurch.com

http://www.12marriagekillers.com

E.Umana here with something you might want to consider. Let me know what you think.

I’ve had to remind so many men in my personal life that they’re off the market (as in married) when they strain their neck to look at an attractive woman’s posterior as she walks by.

These men usually respond by saying “There is nothing wrong with looking.

Do you disrespect your wife by staring at other women when the two of you are out and about.

I was listening to a radio show on this very topic and the male guest stated that he made sure to not turn around and look at the very attractive woman as she was riding the escalator up

while he and his wife riding it going down as he didn’t want to disrespect his wife as he knew that (and she confirmed it) she was looking at him to see what his reaction to the mystery woman would be.

 

Women are far more likely to have wandering hearts. Does she never seem to be “in the mood” any more no matter how romantic,attentive and thoughtful you’ve been? Does she instead stay up until the wee hours of the morning (every night) chatting on Facebook with her high school sweetheart from 20 years ago who she “just found” on facebook?

Whether the husband or wife is caught up in this type of behavior eventually boundaries will be crossed, Don’t start what you can’t finish.

Romans chapter 12 verse two says: Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Wandering Romance and lust is very powerful, the false thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. This applies to wives and husbands alike.

Men especially are admonished to not stray.

So your wife is now older and she no longer has that stunning figure you once loved to show off to your friends. The fact is, as those years went by you grew older too; but since that young waitress smile, winked and laughed with you and tapped you on the shoulder, you want to throw that all away for a phantom chance. She (that waitress) may make you feel young; but you’re not.

There is no excuse to claim to be having a mid life crises.

Malachi chapter 2 verse 15  says Don’t deal treacherously with the wife of your youth. Proverbs chapter 5 verse 19 says: Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.

 

Love is not just a feeling you feel, its a choice as well. We all need discernment skills from time to time even though, at the end of the day, we know right from wrong.

 

Husbands and Wives should learn not to have unrealistic expectations.
After the affair is over, then what? Start another one? Divorce your spouse and marry another one? We all know the success rate of that scenario (sarcasm) Part Two Coming Soon.

Stop Fumbling In The Dark When It Comes To Your Marriage. E.Umana is a Louisville,KY based author on internet marketing and christian topics Learn More Click These Links.  http://www.affairsinthechurch.com

Marriage: And The Most Dangerous Human Body Part Is?

http://www.12marriagekillers.com

 

E.Umana here with part two of this long post, I hope that it caused you to really reflect on things,between you and God,your spouse,children and life in general. Please let me know what you think, one way or the other.

 

We have the light of conscience (we know right from wrong) and the light of creation. There is a reason why the seasons come and go, why the gestational period for a human being is 9 months and for an elephant 22 months. There is a sense of order in everything around us.

What a person believe does matter. Many wars have been started in the name of religion and what they think God would want them to do has resulted in numerous and unnecessary deaths.

Christians believe in the inerrancy of scripture (2 Timothy 3v16) that Jesus is the only way to God The Father (John 14v6 or Act 4v12) If you want true evidence to strenghthen your faith, Try reading   The Case for Faith: A Journalist Investigates the Toughest Objections to Christianity  this book (released in 2000) by former atheist and Lawyer Lee Strobel (Author of  The Case for Christ ) using his considerable legal skills to examine the evidence one way or another as to the claims of Christ and the bible and answers alot of the objections that skeptics have about christianity.

Marriage tip number two: What you believe affects every aspect of your life, your eternity, your marriage, What values you pass on to your children (if you have any) how you treat your fellow human beings etc.

It is also important to note that there is substantial divisions even within a religion, for example Wars between the Catholics and Protestants within christiandom or between the shiites and Sunnis in Islam or the Orthodox and Reformed in Judaism among others.

There are alot of false prophets and preachers out there who use scripture to enrich themselves with what some call the prosperity preachers who live lavish lifestyles by taking scriptures of Giving and receiving out of context to lure those are not well grounded in their faith to send them vast sums of money.

Many of these same false prophets have been exposed for their deception and ungodly lives. While we are all told to be imitators of Christ (Ephesian 5v1-2). Church leaders are held to a higher standard, God has given them their position and authority to lead his flock to a closer relationship with him and their punishment will be worse. When they act hypocritically,they cause people to blashpheme God.

They can even make people lose their faith in God. Discernment skills do matter. Marriage tip number 3: Make a regular time with your spouse (and family) to read,pray and study the bible (Romans 12v2) Do not be conformed to this world;but Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Make sure that you are attending a bible believing church, one who doesn’t preach acceptance of things or practices that go against scripture. Some may say that what you believe in your heart is more important than attending church.

The bible says that we are not to forsake the assembling of ourselves (Hebrews 10v25) in other words going to church regularly builds up your faith by being around other like minded believers who will stand in stark contrast to that raving atheists who will ridicule your faith as something for the weak minded to use a crutch who can’t handle what life dishes out or that belief in God is a fairy tale among other things.

Look within your self to re evaluate your relationship with God. I feel good to have recommended The Bible answer man with Hank Hanegraaff (a program that I have listened to on an off for over 10 years) to a friend which he enjoys and learns from. You can google it for the podcast, its also available on itunes.

This is a call in radio program mainly about discernment and you will sometimes hear some of the christian heretics (in their own words) say stuff like “I have equality with God” that is so breathtaking and total heresy.

Next Time: Do you know where your money is going? Do you have a budget in place. Is God relevant to your day to day finances?  Is it causing tension in your marriage? Threatening to tear it apart?

 

Stop Your Marriage From Getting Stale. E.Umana is a Louisville,KY based author on internet marketing and christian topics. You can learn more about in the links below: http://www.affairsinthechurch.com

Marriage: And The Most Dangerous Human Body Part Is?

http://www.12marriagekillers.com

E.Umana here, I hope that you are having a good weekend so far,despite all the bad economic numbers that came out last week. Let me know what you think of this post, I’ve broken it up as I didn’t want it to be too long for you to read.

Number one marriage tip,Know what you believe and why you believe it. Do not be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6 v14), Marry someone who shares your faith as it can cause all sorts of problems if you do not, If you are married to someone who doesn’t share your faith, should you divorce your spouse and break your marriage vows? No way!

Blog post continued below video (You might want to check out the video as well)

 

 
Many people will say that all paths lead to the same destination, in other words, all religions lead to God,others will say I can’t believe that with all the religions and various belief systems out there, that Jesus is the only way to heaven and that those who believe otherwise are considered intolerant and narrow minded.

One can co exist peacefully (as much as is possible, according to scripture verse Romans 12v 18) with others who have different beliefs, while not buying into or accepting those different beliefs.

If every belief system is valid. It would not make any difference if a person went to a church on Sunday, a mosque on Friday,a Sikh Temple on Wednesday or Synagogue on Saturday and on and on.

That is totally absurd as many of the basic tenets of many of the different religions are diametrically opposed to one another.Yet we have those who have interfaith services, read from the “holy” book of a completely different faith in church and say that we worship the same God.

 

No we do not. Some may see that as intolerant or even bigoted. We are not judging their eternity,we are making judgments and choices based on what we believe.

Once we die,God will be more real than anything we have ever experienced in this life. There are those who have no belief system at all.
We are not to force our views on others, we can only spread the word (as we are commanded) in a loving but uncompromising manner and not be ashamed when asked about your views.

According to Psalm 14v1 The fool has said in his heart that there is no God. Even the most strident unbeliever knows that there is a God.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 (New International Version)

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set ETERNITY in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

 

The Bible starts with “In the Beginning GOD created the heavens and the earth” not There was this big bang that happened millions of years ago or human life started as tadpoles from some primordial ooze.

No, The bible presupposes the existence of God and his word. As I often say, We are not all here as the sole result of our parents “getting it on” (with all due respect) in the backseat of of that 57 Chevy, nor did God ask for our permission when he created us.

We all have a purpose and reason for being alive and we will not be alive 1 second past God deciding to take our lives.

Make each day a day lived for him and enjoy and appreciate what he has done for you and put your trust in him even when everything seems to be crashing around you.

 

Remember the woman who had an issue of blood for 12 long years? she believed in Jesus. For she thought to herself, “If I can just touch his clothing, I will be healed.” Immediately the bleeding stopped, and she could feel that she had been healed! (Mark 5v25)

Stay tuned for part two (coming soon)

Stop Your Marriage From Getting Stale.
E.Umana is a Louisville,KY based author on internet marketing and christian topics. You can learn more  in the links below: http://www.affairsinthechurch.com

http://www.askme7.com

http://www.12marriagekillers.com

E.Umana here with a post that you may be able to relate to or you might even be offended; this is food for thought for the weekend,

Don’t forget to spend some time in the word and let me know what you think of this post, either way.

In a world where bad economic news dominates the media headlines and with unemployment at record highs,now more than ever,families are struggling to make ends meet,so much so that in many cases,two paychecks are needed just to keep their heads above water to pay the bills.

Traditionally, women who have mainly raised the children,bathed them and fed them, shopped for clothes and food, hugged them when they fall down and got scraped,cleaned the house,did the laundry and were still able to cook the meals.

Today, this if far less likely to be the case.

Today,women make up almost half of the workforce and a clear majority of today’s college graduates and students (Lesley Stahl once did a story about the dearth of male college student on the TV news show 60 minutes) and are climbing to the highest echelons of corporate America…and beyond.

In a growing number cases,women are running multi-billion dollar enterprises with hundreds of thousands of employees under her leadership.

In today’s current economy,in many households, the man’s paycheck is no longer enough to pay the bills,its just not cutting the mustard. So if both the husband and wife are working. Who does the chores? Who cooks the meals? What does the bible say about this?

This does lead back to a common theme that men and women are equal but different. one is not better than the other or has more intrinsic worth before God. Those God given differences are why God gave husbands and wives different commands and admonitions. (see Ephesians 5 or 1 Peter 3)

When you decided to marry, you willingly gave up your “independence” to a great degree, you both are a team, you are now part of one another and working together,respecting each other enough to do whatever is necessary to do what benefits your marriage,each other and your family is what’s called for, even when you feel as lazy as a buffoon.

There is the new buzz word “me time” that is a worldly term and a selfish one.

Keep this in mind from 1 Corinthians 7v4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

On one hand, The man IS to be the main provider. The bible says that a MAN who will not take care (or provide) of his family is worse than an infidel (unbeliever) 1Timothy 5v8

On the other hand, a woman who is a doctor,gets married to a trash hauler (Hey, it does happen, love can be blind) she being a doctor is in a much better position to provide for the family and should not be expected to do all the chores once she gets home (if they don’t have hired help)

Even if the man, (still in most cases, though its slowly changing) is the top earner, household chores should be discussed and shared with a complete meeting of the minds knowing what chores each spouse will do and when, especially if this has drawn a big wedge between you and your spouse.

I know that its not the most romantic thing to do;but many marriages have ended bitterly where one spouse (usually the wife) feels taken for granted,taken advantage of like a doormat or slave. “All he does is sit in front of the TV and watch the game all day” or “You don’t do anything around here, leaving me to cook and clean while you go out with the guys almost every night”

Women,without question, still do most of the chores even if she’s working.

Men need to step up and gives their wives a hand, you are called to love and respect your wives, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 1Peter 3v7 (Men, Your masculinity will not wash off with the dish water.)

Conversely, nowadays, it seems to be a badge of honor for a woman who says that she can’t cook. (I know this is only anecdotal;but years ago there was a TV show, (which shall be unnamed) where the main character kept stating the fact that I still will not cook as if cooking was something that diminished her status as a woman. Not being able to cook especially when you have kids and can’t afford “take out” everyday is nothing to be proud of.

In some cultures, if a man were to go in the kitchen to try to cook,the wife would get offended and spill something hot on him, in effect she’s saying. You don’t think I’m a capable or responsible enough wife to cook for the family.

This is not,by any means to say that the only thing a woman is good for is to cook the meals, however this is a clarion call for married couples to work together,if necessary with an unbiased third party (and no your friend from third grade is not unbiased:-)) to work out any differences in this area and is especially something that would be married couples need to deal with BEFORE falling head over heels and taking the plunge and not say “I’ll change him or her after we’re married”. These things can be worked out and they do not have to be a deal (or marriage) breaker. Seeking the Lord and mutual respect is Key.

Until Next Time
E.Umana

E.Umana here with a question, Do you have an unrealistic,perhaps idealistic or downright naive view of what married life would be like and now you’re down in the dumps because everything didn’t turn out as you thought it would?

Just because you married your high school sweetheart and he/she shares your faith and you think “Our marriage is going to get better and better, after all, we’re christians”

Being a christian does not guarantee a trouble free marriage, after all, Marriage problems can happen in any marriage. There has even been some research to indicate that the rate of divorce among christians mirrors that of non christian marriages.

If so, Do you throw up your hands and give up on your marriage and get a divorce because you had a heated argument? Absolutely not?

Conflict, disagreements are inevitable at some point in your marriage.

Don’t let your marriage problems get the best of you. You can take some concrete steps to turn things around. You must acknowledge that there is a problem and deal with it quickly, There is that saying “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger” which is so true.

If you and your spouse refuse to deal with that conflict or even to acknowledge that there is a problem, like cancer it will continue to fester and it will eventually blow over. Don’t think that if you have some major issues in your marriage and you both refuse to deal with them, that somehow,like magic it will work itself out. That’s not going to happen.

Some time ago,on the news, it was reported that a woman was arrested for handcuffing herself to her husband in order to iron out their marriage problems and going on to assault him as well, this is not the way, by any stretch, the appropriate way to deal with conflict/disagreements.

Different People…Different Viewpoints

Whenever you have two different people with differing view, at times its going to cause friction, friction naturally causes heat and heat as you know, causes fire, that doesn’t mean that any marriage problems can’t ultimately, be handled in a Godly way that brings harmony regardless of the circumstances. No two people are going to like the exact same things or see things in the exact same way.

Don’t try to outdo each other:

Many couples have those infamous heated arguments and will throw everything, including the kitchen sink,in an effort to hurt or outdo their spouse and “win” the argument by dredging up things that happened in the past,even things that are unrelated to the topic at hand, things that have already been dealt with or even things one spouse had told them in confidence is now being used to ridicule them instead. Don’t fight fire with fire.

Overcome evil with good. Romans 12v21. Do you know that song by Sara Evans “I could not ask for more”? It has one line saying “smiling just to see that smile upon your face”

When you argue, try not to shout or yell at your spouse, it seems that the more you shout and yell, the more your spouse will shout and yell in response, trying to shout over you to dominate the argument, besides being immature,destructive and counterproductive,its not pleasing to God and it does not set a good example to the children who are bound to see and hear Dad And Mom “going at it”

Let me know what you think.

E.Umana

E.Umana here, with 16 simple but often overlooked ways to improve your marriage, though this is mainly from a Christian perspective, it provides practical suggestions that the non Christian can benefit from as well.

If You Like This Post, See The “Sharing Is Caring” Sign at the bottom of this post to send this to others..

This is by no means a cure all or exhaustive resource. Reading and applying these tips will make a real difference in your marriage.

1.Date each other: Make time away from the kids, jobs etc for just the two of you.

2.Parental discipline: Be on the same page You don’t want to say no to your child; only to have him/her go to your spouse who gives him/her a different answer.

Don’t try to live vicariously through your child by giving in to their every demand,not setting reasonable boundaries Or automatically taking their side even when you know that they’re wrong..

That will hurt them more than help them in the future. Again both parents need to be on the same page.

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3. Show, don’t just say that you love one another.

4.Go out of your way to do something for your spouse even when you feel that they don’t deserve it or even if you know they will not appreciate it.

5. Seek God and serve him. God has to be at the center of your marriage.

6.Don’t let the sun go down on your anger; Don’t let arguments and disagreements fester into resentment, hostility or even violence by avoiding each other. Work it out as soon as possible, it might require some swallowing of pride; but make the effort.

7.Be more forgiving of your spouse’s faults, of course there are limits (e.g. infidelity or violence)
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8.Constructive criticism is necessary and good; being a nag and constantly tearing down your spouse is not.
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9.Take your marital vows seriously. Those vows are not just made between you and your spouse. You stood before God and pledged your undying love to one another of which we shall all be held accountable Hebrews 13v4:

.“Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled;but fornicators and adulterers,God will judge.”

10. Encourage each other:
When your spouse comes home from work, got passed over for a promotion or raise and feels like the whole world is against them, give them the encouragement/ego boost that they need.
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11.Love one another even when you don’t feel like it even after the honeymoon phase is long gone. Forget the fairy tales, Love is not just a feeling, it’s a commitment.
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Just the other day, at my local Mcdonald’s restaurant, I saw a man slice up the pancakes and feed his obviously disabled wife.I could tell that they were married a long time, just by looking at them.
I admired his patience and commitment to her.
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12.Put your family ahead of any personal career aspirations. Not everyone is cut out to be an NBA Superstar Basket ball player or Movie Star. Don’t selfishly pursue goals that could cause a strain in your marriage and family.
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Think about how possibly your decision will affect, not just you; but your marriage and family as well, in a marriage, Contrary to conventional thinking, you are not entirely independent, you need to consult one another before making certain decisions that could affect the whole family.
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13.Find something that you both enjoy doing and do it regularly together. Try to find something that requires the both of you to get it done.
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14.Physical violence in any form MUST not be tolerated. “Oh baby, it won’t happen again” chances are, it will happen again and again and again, unless the abuser gets help or when the one spouse who fears for their very life chooses to end the marriage and leaves.
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15.Acknowledge and respect the God given gender differences This can cause alot of tension if not handled right. (Keep in mind,there are exceptions to the rule).

Don’t expect your wife to act like a man (arm wrestling, monster truck,Mixed martial arts,belching,passing gas and cussing for fun).

Don’t expect your husband to act like a woman (multi tasking, soap operas,shopping,baby showers,Haute Coture, taking two hours in the bathroom etc.
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16.No comparisons:
Do you think to yourself?, “I wish that my spouse was more like someone else’s spouse.”
Stop it, Your spouse will and can never be like someone else, this is your one and only spouse.

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Let me know what you think.

-E.Umana